Needing to be Needed

Most mothers know how much they are needed and wanted by there children. But sometimes mothers require as much attention as their children do! They need to feel needed. Here's an example. I took my four and a half year old son to indoor soccer last week. The children in his group are his age or 5 already-all will be entering kindergarten in the fall. The field is enclosed in plexi-glass and most of the moms watch through the glass while socializing with friends, some read books and there are a couple like me with toddlers that follow there little ones around. The instructor is amazing with the kids and teaches them all kinds of drills and games.
It never ceases to amaze me the mothers that can't let their child just BE. Can't handle not having their child's attention on them...needing them. One of the mothers was literally blowing her son kisses through the glass! He was so distracted by it that he stopped playing and another child ran into him. He was physically fine, but because of his mother's interruption, he remembered that he missed her. And he needed her. And she just ran out ONTO THE FIELD -jumping at the chance to cuddle him. She stayed on the field for another 15 minutes...not only distracting her son but the rest of the kids as well.
It is hard, especially for first time mothers, to "let go" a bit. And letting go happens in stages. This was a big one for this particular mother. However, she is stomping on his sense of accomplishment when she runs to his aid over false tears. Just when he was beginning to have fun with his buds and accomplish something, no matter how small, she jumps in there and reminds him that it cannot be done with out her. She is not doing him any favors.
My suggestion to the many moms that have a hard time letting their children figure it out in situations like this is keep busy. Bring a book. Write out your grocer list. Make phone calls. Do it within his sight so he is assured you are there. But he can't grow, gain confidence in himself or enjoy his own little thing if you are always getting in the way. Remember the saying "This hurts me more than it hurts you"? Think about that.